Living in the Moment

Published by Laurie on Tagged Life, Midlife, Mindset

Living in the moment seems to be a prevailing theme when it comes to finding happiness.  At least that’s what I have been reading on various personal development sites, blogs and self help books.  Since I have a real problem with anxiety about the future, I thought I would take a serious stab at it. 

I will admit it has been working sometimes, but definitely not consistently.  There are way too many moments to live in.  For example, at this very moment that I’m living in right now, I’m at my desk at work, at a job I really get no enjoyment from, filled with many people I really don’t care for.  Also at this very moment, I’m looking at a stack of bills that I brought to work with me so I can mail them today, and at this very moment, my bank account does not have enough money in it to cover these bills I’m about to mail out.  Therefore, at this moment I’m a little, (actually a lot) filled with anxiety about how and when these checks are going to clear.  Ooops, that’s veering off of this moment, the checks won’t clear today so technically that’s future thinking.  Stop that right now!

Back to the moment;  I need to stop thinking about what might happen with my bank account and get back to this moment.  The trouble is I’m not too crazy about this moment.  That’s probably why I have so much trouble living in it.  At any given moment, I’m usually worrying about the future consequences of said moment.  Kind of mind-bending when you think about it, and that is what I do.  Think about mind-bending things, like paradoxes.  Hey, I just realized, there’s something I like about this moment.  I enjoy thinking about the mind-bending stuff.  Perhaps it distracts me from the reality of the moment.  I’m not sure.  I’ll have to think about that one.

By now I’m sure you figured out I’m being facetious about this whole thing.  I get the gist of the “living in the moment” philosophy and it is a good philosophy for some people.  The trouble is I have a tendency to appreciate the moment only after it has passed.  Why is that?  Probably because I only gain a full understanding of it after it has come to pass.  During that particular moment, I’m off in the future, worrying about possible outcomes and planning for alternate ones.  It’s really not so bad.  I end up living each moment worrying or anticipating the next.  At least there is a next one.

I hate those questions like: If you only had one day to live, what would you do?  Then followed by the suggestion that you should live each day like it’s your last.  Oh my god, if we really followed through on that, there would be chaos.  We can’t completely live in the moment.  I should know.  I’ve had plenty of them.  I appreciate them all, after the fact.  But if I were to really, truly live like it was the last day of my life…I’m reasonably sure that the last day of my life would have come long ago. 

Planning, worrying, anticipating is all part of being human.  That’s what we do.  That’s why we have hang ups like getting older, getting fatter, going bald.  It’s all worry about the outcome in the future.  The fact that most of us don’t expect to expire anytime soon prohibits us to “live like we were dying”.  Since we don’t expect to (die, that is), we have to have some concern about tomorrow.  Why?  Because there most likely will be a tomorrow.  If we don’t take that fact into consideration, how can we move ahead? 

If I take a moment to stop over-analyzing all that I read, I come away with this.  The secret, if you will, is all about optimism.  Sure, this moment might totally suck, but we need to search for the optimism in it.  I have a friend who always says the same thing, no matter what bad is happening around him.  He says, “At least I don’t have a brain tumor”.  That is his way of making the most of a bad situation.  The message being, appreciate what you do have right now.  Now what you don’t have, or what you might lose, or even what you can’t have.  Try to look at the things you do have and go with it.  Every moment, even if that means comparing your present moment with something devastating.  The stark contrast will actually make your moment appear better than you previously thought it to be.  Bottom line is to trick your mind I guess.  Hey, if it works, I’m all for it. 

Well, I better get back to work, and send out these bills.  But today I’ll try it with a smile, even though my job still sucks, my bank account is still empty.   But hey, at least I don’t have a brain tumor.

Stumble it!

August 30th, 2007