Perimenopause - Not Quite Menopause
Published by Laurie on Tagged Family, Life, Aging, Midlife, HealthI rarely go to the doctor. I know, I really should have regular medical checkups but I have always been reactive rather than proactive when it comes to my own health. I’m very responsible about my children’s healthcare, but when it comes to my own, I always find an excuse to put it off. Thankfully, I think I’m pretty healthy for the most part. But then again, that is my own armchair diagnosis and has not been confirmed by a certified medical practitioner, until now.
PMS is a walk in the park compared to this
Like I said, I’m rather reactive about my health and when I don’t feel right, I will break down and go to a physician. Recently, I have noticed that my menstrual cycle is no longer a cycle but more like a crapshoot. I have become accustomed to a purse full of feminine hygiene products as I never know when I will be in need of them. I no longer consider my period regular in any way. Not only is this inconvenient, but even more disturbing was that the usual mental anguish that accompanies my period was becoming more severe and more frequent. I was losing it once, twice, sometimes 3 times in a month. That’s where I had to draw the line. I had to see a doctor. I can’t be out of my mind for more than half the month every single month. That would make me…crazy, literally.
I’m not talking about mood swings. The term mood swings suggest that your happy then you swing to blue, or swing to irritated. All of those adjectives pale in comparison to the actual feelings. I wasn’t getting teary eyed during the Lifetime movie, I was sobbing uncontrollably, and I wasn’t just irritated with my husband for leaving the peanut butter out on the counter, I felt like spitting on him. I would wake up in the morning, ready to spew venom. The sight of everyone made me sick. And heaven forbid anyone comment on my foul mood. If I so much as heard my children warn each other..whispering, “Lay low, Mom’s about to flip out” I’d be on their case like white on rice.
“And YOU! (cowering daughter) I’m sick to death of the clothes on your floor, you’re not seeing the light of day until you clean that room!” ….and what are YOU smiling at?! (snickering son) If I see one more can of soda in this living room, I’m pouring it on your bed!, I’m sick of this!”
This tirade would be followed by slamming of doors, and retreating to my room, shaking with fury, thinking “What hell is wrong with me, I’m tired, exhausted, pissed off, and so bloated I can’t even get my wedding ring off these fat, bloated fingers…and why don’t we have any chocolate in this house!!”
I KNOW, it’s completely and totally irrational. To top it all off, I realize that while I’m feeling that way that I am being totally irrational, which made me even more depressed or more angry with each episode.
Could it be Menopause?
Now, I realize that over 40 all sorts of things start to change. I thought I was ready. I heard about menopause and the hot flashes, the night sweats, the sleep disturbances, etcetera. So when I went to the doctor, I was ready for the diagnosis of menopause. Go ahead, give it to me. (I was secretly excited at the prospect of ridding myself of periods for the rest of my life). But alas, that is not the case.
It seems I am in the middle of a phase known as Perimenopause. It’s kind of like menopause with training wheels. Basically you get to experience random jolts of menopausal symptoms, at random times anywhere from 2 to 8 YEARS before you actually get the reward of having your last period. Isn’t that a crock? It’s basically like the trailer for the coming attraction of Menopause. That’s right, you get all of the action packed sequences of menopause while still experiencing the joys of the menstrual cycle. It plays on a continuous loop – Coming soon to a theatre near you! Only there’s still no definite release date. You wait, and you wait, and you wait. I have a sneaking suspicion that, just like a long awaited movie, the feature isn’t as good as you had hoped. But I’ll hold off on my review until I actually enter menopause. Who knows, after this purgatory of perimenopause has ended, I will have done my penance and get to skate through menopause symptom free. Yeah, right.
Diet and Exercise - (it seems to help everything)
So what can I do in the meantime, how can I re-join the ranks of the relatively sane? According to my doctor, I can watch my diet, drink lots of water, exercise regularly and/or try low dose birth control pills to level out my hormones if the symptoms are interfering with my life. (although, it seems most of the interference is affecting the lives of anyone within a 10 foot radius of me). Well, I have never been a fan of taking medication of any kind, and I’m afraid to muck up my hormones more than they already are. That’s just me. So I went with the diet/exercise route. I’ve been trying to watch my diet, exercise regularly, and I have to say, for me, exercise is the best remedy so far. I start off in a lousy (aka evil) mood, but by the end of a 45 minute workout, I feel much, much better. (it’s pretty miraculous, like Satan to Saint in 45 minutes) I highly recommend it. Oh yeah, screaming into a pillow, that works well also.
See your doctor
But seriously, if you have symptoms that are really affecting your life, go to the doctor. Everyone woman is different, and your physician should be able to help you through this “wonderful journey”. And for those of you who haven’t quite arrived yet, don’t be like me, try to be proactive, eat well, exercise, and see your doctor regularly. You’ll be doing a great service for your family, your friends, and anyone who comes near you. Believe me.
Here’s a good book that takes a look at the natural treatments for perimenopause The Hormone Survival Guide for Perimenopause: Balance Your Hormones Naturally
September 5th, 2007 at 11:57 pm
Oh, the crying….. Over the last couple of years I’ve cried over the most ridiculous things. I’ve considered (among other things) HRT, antidepressants and scotch. The thing that worked the best for me has been confiding in my friends. Talk to other women your age and it will help you to not feel quite so insane. You’ll still cry, but they’ll be there crying right along. Really. It helps.
September 6th, 2007 at 6:19 am
Oh I love this post!!! I love it so much I just stumbled it! I started getting these symptoms shortly after the birth of my daughter. I was age 40 so even though I went to several doctors about my symptoms I was told by every single one that I was too young to be starting menopause. When I was around 45 I found a female nurse practitioner who was my age and finally got a correct diagnosis. All these symptoms lasted eight years but I was able to see my way through without medication…and only an occasional Xanex. Thankfully all that is behind me now
Great post!!!
September 6th, 2007 at 7:50 am
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. You have no idea how much your responses validate my sanity. And believe me, at this time in my life, my sanity could use the validation. (I feel like crying….no big surprise there!)
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
September 6th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
I like your book recommendation. Here’s some more info on perimenopause, bioidentical hormones, and the book: http://hormonesurvival.com/
September 7th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
I stumbled it as well, I think. StumbleUpon is blocked from work. I’ll check when I get home. I can relate, because I think this is where my Fiancee is right now.
October 1st, 2007 at 5:00 pm
Great post! You’re not alone in this - there are plenty of us going through the same thing.
If you want anothers perspective take a look at my blog.
http://perimenomadness.blogspot.com/
October 19th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
[…] first I attributed it to perimenopause. (Everyone knows once your hormones start flipping out, so do you) , but this wasn’t episodic, […]
November 20th, 2007 at 11:04 pm
I feel so indebted to you all for your comforting and insightful comments.
I had a spectacularly tearful episode and had to leave work today thinking I was going nuts.
I still feel as though if someone was too kind to me I might cry for another half day, but thankyou for sharing your wisdom and making me laugh.
Blessings sisters
Susie
December 3rd, 2007 at 3:57 pm
been going through shakes 4 years with perimenopause morning worse time
April 7th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Just found your blog, and this great posting. I’m in the middle of it. And, yep, I’m going to the dr tomorrow. Can’t stop weeping, and it’s not convenient!
May 8th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
I just turned 40 and happy lousy bday to me. I have been flowing for 23 days straight now! Talk about irregular period…………. how about never ending! I’ll sob uncontrollably for hours over a sappy commercial. thankfully I haven’t experienced the anger portion of the hormonal rollercoaster, the tears are enough. I’m fortunate that I don’t have much discomfort other that my purse and office desk hold more hygiene products than the local Walgreens! My poor husband has ‘tail end duty’ ( always on the lookout for leaks) it’s horrible. To face years of this is scary.
September 11th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Try looking up peri-menopause on the internet and 95% of the sites are about MENOPAUSE. Ask your doctor and he really doesn’t have much of a clue either. This makes this life transition very frustrating and bewildering to most of us. I tried putting up a peri chat site and would you believe didn’t get one bite? Come on. ladies, I cannot be the only one suffering out here. Peri is like PMS to the 10th power. Right now, though, the moods are not too bad (I’m following the anti-estrogen diet which I do believe is starting to help! I’m sleeping better and am not as snippy!) But my periods are still wacky. Like the owner of this blog, I am forever carrying around an assortment of sanitary supplies. It’s wreaking havoc on my sex life, too. Argh!! Any supportive comments would be so appreciated.
September 13th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Hi,
I had my 1st and only child at 40 and was going through perimenapause then, it’s seven years later and I’m losing my mind. I have not had a period in 4 months, and I have sufffered, SUFFERED, from PMS and now the PMS is inflated by a zillion times, anxiety, depression, shakes, irritablility, emotional, feeling out of control, I hate everybody. I look like hell, feeling isolated (not good). I do believe I’m in the middle of menapause, if I don’t have a period for a year and can get through this; I guess hormones will level out. I am a wreck.
Karen
October 14th, 2008 at 12:16 am
My husband cut my wisteria vine that fell from the wind, without asking me . I wanted to tack it back up and he butchered it . I feel like he butchered my heart, He made excuses about why it HAD to be cut. It didn’t …he is just a $#%^%# butcher. I secretly wished he’d have a heart attack so he could feel the kind of pain it has left me. Does that sound like perimenopause? I have to take a valium or something , I don’t want my kids to see how I feel. I don’t want them to react irrationally like this. When this man fails to recycle a plastic bottle , I think I cannot stay married to him , and I don’t want to be BURIED next to him because he didn’t throw his candy wrapper away ..he left it for ME TO PICK UP!! He is covertly hostile and evil!!! PMD ???What is wrong with me? Can’t have sex with this wisteria butcher!!! Why is everyone scared of me?
December 8th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
I am 40 and started peri-menopause at age 35 ! If any doctor tells you that you are too young they are lying! I have found relief in bio-identical hormone cream and zrtlab.com saliva hormone testing. Prayer and an incredibly loving husband and 2 sons have helped me deal with it. Remember Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you. Hang in there ladies.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:03 am
Oh my God, I love you all, thank you for making me laugh so hard! I completely understand… I, too, have screamed at my child as above and secretly wished for the death of my husband for buying the wrong green beans at the grocery store… surely that’s perimenopause, right??
April 7th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Thank You Ladies…..OMG!! I turned 42; 5 months ago & I fly into an irrational fit over a piece of lint on the floor of the living room. I haven’t had a decent nights sleep in the last few, several ….. I don’t even know how many weeks. I’m so tired, I don’t even want to roll out of the bed & come to work. I have a doctor’s appointment, but it’s a couple of weeks off. I’m on my last leg & my last kid…..He’s 16 & he walks around me gently. His older brothers told him to tip toe around me lately I seem to have lost my mind. My entire being seems to have transformed into some alien being….this is not the sweet woman my husband married. He’s dealing with it, He takes the boys off & stays gone for hours so I can have some quiet time. The poor guy & I had no idea how to explain this to him…..now I can say …. Don’t worry honey, this is the beginning of Menapause …. we will make it……LOL!!
May 27th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
I have just found this site and am SOOOO grateful for all of the posts and comments. I thought I was managing this perimenopause okay but the last couple of months have seen an increase in the symptoms. I LOVE Min’s post - I laughed out loud!!! I could spit venom at my husband for just standing in the wrong place in the kitchen or saying good morning … he is actually a lovely man, wonderful husband, excellent father … just not right now …. thank you all for sharing your thoughts, feelings & experiences. It will help all of us get through this minefield!
June 11th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Today…this page was a saving grace for me. I am also in the middle of hormonal perimenopausal hell….I’m turning 48 this year and have been going through this since the age of 43-I think I have every single peri symptom ever discovered and then some! I’m finding it hard to help my family understand. For the most part my husband is supportive- but I’m finding it real hard to get my adult daughters to realize that I can’t just ‘control myself” sheesh..I wish it were that easy! I have wonderful kids but..they really don’t understand. Hoe can we help them understand that it’s not about mom needing to “get a grip” I wish I could! Problem is that I don’t even know where to start! Mood swings are the worst for me- Jekyll and Hyde are peanuts compared to me! Love reading all the posts- makes me feel less alone.