Shopping For a New Pair of Genes?

Published by Laurie on Tagged Parenting, Just Wrong, Family, Mindset

Tonight, I must do something that is so abhorrent to me, I am finding it difficult to revel in the joy that today is Saturday. My daughter has reminded me of my promise to take her shopping for something to wear to the school dance. She is using her own money that she has saved, so spending money isn’t the issue here. It’s the mere thought of going to the mall and shopping.

I just hate it
I hate shopping. I can’t explain it. Either I had some horrific shopping experience in my past that my subconscious found so hideous, it has blocked it out completely from my memory or I apparently am missing some gene in the female chromosome that allows one to get pleasure from the shopping experience. My daughter hopes to cure me of this disorder, and she’s relieved that this defective gene has not been handed down to her. I hear her complain to her friends about her mother’s “disability”, her “birth defect”. I see them listen sympathetically, almost unbelieving. How can this be true? Are you sure you’re Mom’s not just too busy? Maybe she just doesn’t want to spend the money. As they try to comfort her. No, she says, My mother hates, loathes and despises shopping with a passion that only she can truly know. (I love when she quotes me directly, just when you think they don’t listen)

This has not been an issue in my life, until recently. (recently meaning a daughter turned 14 with her own money and no transportation except Mom) I have always hated shopping. It doesn’t matter what kind of item. Food, clothing, home décor, gifts, souvenirs, you name it. There is something about the simple act of shopping, looking at items, deciding what you want or need. I just don’t like it. I tried catalog shopping once or twice. It didn’t really provide me with what I wanted. Either the clothing didn’t fit, or the item looked better in the illustration, and there was no way to tell how well-made something was from the pictures. After a couple of bad experiences, I gave up on that.

Only if I must
It’s not like I never shop. It’s something we all have to do now and again. (like going to the dentist) There’s no getting around it. I just wish I could get the enjoyment that so many other people apparently do. It would be nice to actually want to go to the mall and make a day of it. Instead, only when I must, I reluctantly go, knowing exactly what I want, and with surgical precision I head directly to the store, get what I need, pay, in and out as fast as possible.

Looking in my jam packed closet, you would never know I have this affliction. It’s quite misleading, but my closet is actually a time capsule of all fashions dating back to 1983. If you think about it, that’s 25 years of clothing all in one closet. The only knick-knacks I have in my home are gifts I’ve received, and a few candles that I’ve purchased from the candle parties I’ve attended over the years. I have 3 pairs of shoes, 1 purse, 2 pair of jeans, and a basic wardrobe for work. I purchased the entire wardrobe at one store. I just found a pair of pants I liked, and promptly bought one of each color offered, and 2 black pair. I had the salesgirl pick out some blouses that might match and that was that.

Shopping for my kids wasn’t quite as horrible when they were small, but that’s back when they had the Garanimals, remember those? They were great. A giraffe tag, with a giraffe tag, an elephant tag with an elephant tag. It was for people like me with no fashion sense, who hated shopping and wanted to get out of the store as soon as possible. That was an awesome idea, I wish they still had something like that, not only for the kids clothes, but adults as well. Instead, I walk into the store, take a quick look at the mannequins and tell the salesperson, I’ll have what she’s wearing.

Price is no object
Now you would think this would be great for the wallet. But actually it’s not. Not only do I hate shopping, but I’m a dumb shopper. I don’t bother looking at prices. If I find a particular item is what I need, I just get it, no matter what, because if the item were too expensive, that would necessitate “shopping” some more until I found a similar item at a more reasonable price. That’s what happens. You get sucked into the shopping vortex. That’s why these shoppers sometimes spend hours at a mall, looking around, shopping around the sales, and they actually enjoy it! My sister is one of those. She always calls me on the way home from the mall, excitedly reciting all of her purchases and the great deals they were, then goes on to tell me about all of the “steals” her friends came upon also. She’s so ecstatic with her bargain-hunting prowess, she relives every detail on the phone with me. I listen politely, and insert an obligatory, “wow” in there periodically. She always ends those conversations with, “You have to come with us next time”, but of course, I don’t.

Let’s do this
Apparently I’m missing out on some major female bonding. I could live with that, except for the fact that my daughter is at an age where I’m lucky to be invited into her room on occasion. This shopping thing is something she actually wants to do with me. She is determined to lead me into the joyous world of shopping. I just need to open up to the experience. (her words, not mine) So tonight I am going to try with all my might to enjoy it. I already promised her I won’t groan at being dragged from store to store. I won’t hijack the salesperson to pick something out for her, and I won’t sit at the food court with a book and have her call me when she’s done. I’m going to let her do her thing, and genuinely try to enjoy the shopping experience, and even if I’m not converted, she’ll never know. For one thing, I’m a great actress; “Oooh, look at this dress, it’s gorgeous, but don’t get it yet, we still have 20 more stores to check out.” (pretty convincing, yes?) , but more importantly I will be genuinely enjoying our mother-daughter time, even if it is shopping at the mall.

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