Short Leash Leads To Midlife Crisis

Published by Laurie on Tagged Pets, Just Silly, Home, Life, Midlife

Having gone through a couple of midlife crises myself, I think I can spot one when I see one.   There is a crisis happening to a member of my household.   No, it’s not my husband (I am his midlife crisis), but my dog.  Seriously, I’m pretty sure he’s going through some sort of doggie midlife crisis. 

His name is Lucky and he’s a shepherd-collie mix.  He’s 5 years old.  (that translates to 35 in human years, just about the time the first midlife crisis rears it’s ugly head). 

It all started a couple of weeks ago.  My neighbor called the house to inform us that our dog had been wandering over into her yard.  She complained that he was terrorizing her yip-yip little dog and also “doing his business” in her yard.   You would think that’s pretty normal behavior for a dog, but Lucky was trained to stay in his own yard, and he always has up to that point.  You see, when we first brought him home, we spent quite a little bundle of cash to have an invisible fence installed.   We have a nicely wooded lot, with lots of chipmunks, squirrels, and birds to keep him occupied.  We enclosed about a half an acre area.  Plenty of room for him to play and run.  After the “fence” was installed, we put those little flags up and trained him to know the perimeter.  The fence would warn him with a little beep, and then he knew to go no further.  (getting zapped a few times also helped).  It didn’t take long before he knew the boundaries.  After about a year, we started letting him out without the zapper collar.   He was fine.  He was happy romping within the boundaries we had set.  All was well until a few weeks ago. 

After his transgression into the neighbors yard, we promptly scolded him for going next door.  He knew he wasn’t supposed to.  He cowered in the corner for a few hours, then scratched to go out again.  We pointed our finger at him, and warned him to stay in his own yard, then we let him outside again.   Well, he went outside and sat, looking over at the neighbor’s yard.  I saw him outside the deck and yelled, “You better stay”.  With ears back, he stayed.  Until I turned my back, then the little shit went right over the boundary into the other yard.  Well, that was it.  We got him back inside, and slapped that collar right back on him.   I let him out and he promptly zapped himself, ran back inside and refused to go out again.   Oh well, he has to learn.

The next day, my son called me at work to tell me that he had just gotten home from school to find that the dog had taken a dump right in the middle of the living room.  Oh, this is just great! 

When my husband came home, I told him what had happened.  Neither of us could understand what was going on with this dog.   Time for some dog whispering.

I said, I think he’s going through a male midlife crisis, he’s grown tired of living within the boundaries that others have set for him, he no longer is satisfied with playing with the squirrels and birds in our yard.  He wants to expand his horizons as he sees that there is so much more out there, beyond the boundaries.  He’s re-examining his life, feeling that time is slipping away, and there is so much he hasn’t experienced.  Like chasing cars, peeing on fire-hydrants, the smell of other dog’s butts, and the love of a good bitch.  Now that we have re-imposed those limits, he’s resentful and withdrawn.  Male midlife crisis.

After he was through laughing at me, my husband said, “The dog isn’t thinking at all.  He’s just being a dog.”

Exactly! Male midlife crisis.
 

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September 24th, 2007