My Midlife Bedtime Story

Published by Laurie on Tagged Nostalgia, Aging, Meditation, Midlife

This week has been really hectic for me.  Work has been unbelievably busy.  (they’re probably hoping I screw something up before my review) and home has been crazy too. The kids have a lot going on, the Indians are in the playoffs so my husband is useless and the dog got skunked last week and has had 3 baths this week, to no avail. (that’s the last time I’m writing about skunks on a post, I mention it, and it happens….I’m a little superstitious that way)  But with all that has been going on, I find myself trying to relax at bedtime, my mind starts racing and all I can think about is what has to be done the next day. 

If any of you have read my previous post on meditation, you’ll notice that I still have a ways to go to get to the relaxed state I so desperately need.  I’ve been so hyped up at bedtime (I know the coffee in the evening doesn’t help but it allows me to get what I need done after work) I tried meditating again to the tapes, but I can’t seem to stay on the beach or other quiet place lately.  The last few nights I’ve tried something new.  I tried to let my mind wander somewhere I’ve been before.  Somewhere I felt safe and content, and it seems to be working.  I’m falling asleep faster, and I think I even have a smile on my face. 

So what am I thinking about?  I think about my childhood.  No specific ages.  Anywhere between age 5 and age 10.  Before homework, before puberty, before dating, before marriage, before kids,…before responsibilities of any kind. 

I think about rocking on a little rocking chair downstairs in our rec-room.  Listening to records on my Close-N-Play.

I think about playing with my friend across the street making shaker makers.

I think about spinning my little sisters uncontrollably on the sit-n-spin, then kicking them off and getting on it myself to see how fast I could spin. 

I think about klackers, those heavy glass marble like balls on the end of a string.  I called them click clacks, mine were purple.  They would be considered quite dangerous by todays standards. 

You could really hurt somebody with those.
I think about playing with my Gumby and Pokey and watching their television show (they were awesome).  

I think about the boys on my street riding their bigwheels. 

I remember playing freeze tag out on the street until dark. buying Bubs Daddy Gum and chewing the whole thing, watching the smaller kids on their Inchworms riding up and down their driveways.  The list goes on and on. Those really were carefree times.

I think I might have found the secret to ending my insomnia.  Simple memories of youth.  No complications, just carefree.  A real escape from stress.

Stumble it!

October 8th, 2007